While we collect a substantial quantity of fairly useless technical data (such as IP addresses, newspaper creation dates, frequency of usage, etc), we use this for the exclusive purpose of optimizing the database, fine tuning the site and generally providing a fast and fun experience. We use all the data in aggregate, and have no use for personally identifiable information.

The name & city information you enter is stored in our database, but not used for any other purpose than creating a joke newspaper. For all we know you could enter the Queen's name and place her in Iceland. It's up to you to have fun, and us to keep the site up.

If you make a purchase, your billing and credit card information is handled by a third party payment processor. No credit card numbers are stored anywhere by us.

If you gave us your email address, we promise never to sell, rent or give it away. We will not rummage through you dirty laundry. Nor will we blackmail you into dating any of our siblings...